A Lesson From My ‘Dark Place’

I had an insight whilst on the rower in my ‘dark place’ the other day…

(SIDE NOTE: My ‘Dark Place’ is located right at the edge of my physical capacity. It’s a place I consciously take myself to weekly, to go meet and master my mind. I have gained a lot in my ‘Dark Place’)

In that moment… my body was screaming at me to stop, my mind was telling me to pull back, but I knew I had more.

I had a choice… pull back or push harder.

A choice that was immediately reflected back at me by the numbers a few feet from my face.

And in that moment I realised why most avoid the rowing machine like the plague…

Because there is nowhere to hide!

The numbers are staring you right in the face. It gives you immediate feedback. And those numbers are directionally proportional to your effort and strength of mind. You can’t lie. You can’t cheat. The display is telling you exactly how hard you are working at every single moment.

Give in to your mind and pull back, it will immediately tell you.

And it’s why, I believe, most run from the machine.

But it’s not just the rowing machine people run from…

Most do this with their life too.

Most avoid facing their results. They avoid keeping score. They live in denial. They shirk responsibility. And ultimately hand over their life to luck.

Personally… I am in the results game.

And I know my commitment and effort is reflected back to me 100% (like the rowing machine) by the results I am currently getting.

The money in my account. My health. My relationships. My career. The results I have in each of these areas are the results I am committed to.

If I were committed to something else, I’d have different results.

It sounds like such a basic statement.

But this is at the heart of extreme ownership.

Taking 100% responsibility for your results. No excuses. No blaming. About anything. Ever.

And once you are willing to do this, you will start keeping score. You will start tracking the numbers that matter most to you.

If you’re committed to saving more, you will track every penny and pound.

If you’re committed to losing weight, you will track every calorie you eat.

And in that tracking, you will gain the feedback required to change, adapt and iterate.

And if you’re a leader, extreme ownership goes one step further still…

Because as a leader you have to take total responsibility for your team’s results too.

The Navy Seals have a concept that there is no such thing as a bad team, just a bad leader.

A difficult one to accept, but a crucial concept for us to understand and implement.

If someone in your team makes a mistake… it’s your responsibility. Did you explain it well enough? Are they motivated? Are the procedures you have in place clear enough?

A principle, aligned with this, that I aim to lead by is “Give away the credit. Take the blame.”

And I have found that when you start taking this responsibility, you start to build a culture of extreme ownership, where every member of the team aims to ensure the highest of standards.

So let me ask you… at home or at work… do you think you’re on a “bad” team?

Because if you’re the leader… sorry to be the bearer of bad news… but you’re the problem (ahem).

Darren Hardy, wrote,

“Here’s a secret: People don’t go as far as they can. They don’t work as hard as they can either. They aren’t as disciplined as possible. They aren’t as positive-minded or enthusiastic as they can be. They’re only as fast and disciplined as you are.

As the leader, you set the pace. You create the standards. It doesn’t matter if you’re leading salespeople, engineers, or creatives. They will only be as disciplined, driven, focused, and consistent as the person leading them. The speed, quality, and culture of the pack are determined by the leader. That means the most important, but also the most underused and violated, principle of leadership is lead by example…

In 1944, the Allied generals gathered to discuss their battle plans for the D-Day invasion of Normandy. After listening to how each general was going to send his soldiers into battle, an angered Dwight D. Eisenhower, the Supreme Commander, slammed his fist down, stood up, and placed a piece of string in the middle of the table.

‘Gentlemen,’ he said, ‘Do you see this string? This string is like an army. Push it from behind, and it doubles up on itself — you get nowhere. To drive it forward you have to pull it from the front, and it will follow you in perfect order.’”

So my challenge to you is… get on the rowing machine. Honour the suck. Get uncomfortable. Face the facts. Push harder. Win the battle with the mind.

And in life…

Be a leader.

Quit blaming. Quit criticising. Start taking EXTREME OWNERSHIP for your results.

Find solutions. Improve. Adapt. Lead. Win.

See you next week,

Big love,

Joel

P.S. Whenever you’re ready… here are 3 ways I can help you start living life on your terms.

1. Grab a free copy of my ebook

It’s a 5-step high performance playbook, that’ll help you gain immediate clarity, eliminate distraction, and free up to 2.5 hours per day — Click here

2. Apply for my next mentorship program

If you are an ambitious man ready to live life on bigger and better terms, apply here to join the waitlist for my next group coaching program.

3. Work with my privately

I have one 1–2–1 spaces freeing up, so if you’d like to work directly with me… book a call with me here to apply.