F-off!

Have you ever woke up and wanted to tell everyone to f*ck off?

I know you have too. You’re human.

I woke up like that on Wednesday.

• I didn’t want to be ‘ON’.
• I didn’t want to be a dad.
• I didn’t want to be coach.
• I didn’t want any responsibility.

I wanted to tell everyone to f*ck off and hide in a hut.

But I couldn’t.

• I do have responsibilities.
• I am a dad of (with a 3.5-year-old on holidays)
• I am a coach with clients to serve
• I need to serve. Be present. Hold space.

So here’s what I did instead…

→ I shared how I felt with my wife and told her I was going to the gym.

→ I went to the gym. Put on Foo Fighters, moved the energy and threw heavy sh!t around. No structure — pure power. Bliss!

→ I was met with clarity. Clarity about where the anger was coming from, this email and a few other ideas

→ Plus clarity about who I want to be for the rest of the day.

And that was a…

• A present dad
• Loving husband
• A powerful coach
• An honest creator
• And that’s who I stepped into the day as…

Present. Loving. Content. Grateful. Creative. Powerful.

Not the reactive man I woke up as.

Here are my five lessons:

1. There are no negative emotions, just negative responses
2. Growth comes from choosing a new response
3. The best way to show love is to own how you are loved, your emotions, and meeting your needs
4. When you express how you feel, what you need, come from love and are receptive — you can’t be wrong.
5. One of my go-to thinking models in times like this is Awareness — Choice — Trust. Awareness of my thoughts and feelings, choose coming back to presence and trust that if I respond from that place it will meet the needs of the present moment.

This is all summed up by one of my favourite quotes by Viktor Frankl, which has had a profound impact on my life,

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

This is the way.

The way of the integrated man.

Sending love,

Joel

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